Dealing with Disappointment

Most of us have experienced disappointment in our relationships at one time, And I don’t just mean romantic love relationships. Disappointment can occur in business & professional relationships, personal relationships : family relationships, and friendships.

Disappointment is defined as the result of a failed hope or desire one has of something or someone. Simply put, Disappointment is the result of unmet expectations.

An Expectation is a plan or requirement that one considers to be likely, certain, and reasonable.

Expectations are plans established within one's mind for how things will go and how people will behave; but when things don't happen how we supposed they should or expected they would, disappointment occurs, and it can be devastating.

I believe Matt 7:1 speaks on the proper to handle when things don't happen like we thought they would. Matt 7:1 tells us not to judge. Plain and simple, we are not to criticize someone's decisions, failures and faults - not unless we want to be treated in this way. Being critical is like throwing a dart which bypasses the intended target, and boomerangs back around to strike the one who threw it. Using our voices to criticize makes others more aware and less forgiving of our mistakes. Often occurs that when we are critical of someone else, it's typically not long before we are guilty of the same thing or even worse. We ALL have shortcomings. No one is perfect….so it's best to extend to others the grace we need to receive from time to time.

Because no one is perfect, disappointment will occur from time to time .

With this in mind. Share with you some things we can do to minimize unnecessary hurt in our relationships.

Be self-aware (Know what your expectations of the other person . How can someone meet your expectation(s) if YOU don’t even know what they are?

Clearly communicate your expectations to others. After discovering /realizing what it is you need, make others aware. You cannot hold someone responsible for expectations that have not been communicated. No one is a mind reader. Honest conversations prevent hurtful situations.

Make sure the expectations have been agreed upon. Has the other person agreed to be responsible and held accountable? Be sure to ask them, and get a definite answer. All relationships are transactions of some sort. Many of us are comfortable handling business and marketplace relationships like this; yet, we are reluctant to speak up when it comes to interpersonal matters . It may be a slightly uncomfortable at first, but taking these steps will go a long way to preventing misunderstandings and disappointments which may leave you feeling like you got "a raw deal", or the short end of the stick".

Place relationships & expectations in proper perspective. At the end of the day, even if we do all of this, the truth is, relationships are made up of less-than-perfect people, so disappointment still may occur. Should it happen, the important thing is to deal with it and not get stuck there.

Thank you for listening to today's episode of your best life. Please tune in next time when we continue discussing how to deal with disappointment.

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Often times, we seem to have fewer expectations and more tolerance for strangers than for those we know and love. I can't say for sure this is how things should be. living according to Matt 6:33, what does the Bible say expectations? If I measure them against the Word, how do my expectations of others in certain “categories” line up?

How Do I Keep Myself From Occupying This Space?

If someone said I was a friend, I begin acting in that role, and placing all my expectations of what a friend is on that person without a conversation about it. I know what kind of friend I am, and I was unknowingly to myself or them, placing that requirement on them as well. The problem is I would just give myself so freely, and they are HAPPY to receive that type of a friend. I am dedicated, i am loyal, I am helpful and resourceful. Who wouldn’t want a friend like that!?! The receivers however, weren’t necessarily those things to and for me…see, we would be team and friends, as long as it benefitted them or they weren’t too inconvenienced. Hence “Don’t cast your pearls before swine”.

So I’ve learned. Just b/c someone calls me a friend, doesn’t mean I should call them one. I know my qualifications as a friend, but need to take more time to learn theirs first. I need to categorize and classify them in my life, and THAT is what will determine the lengths I go and the amount of sacrifice I am willing to make on their behalf. Period

v6 “Cast not your pearls before swine. They will trample the pearls and turn and attack you”.

Episode 005b

Our topic last week was Dealing With Disappointment, we discussed some ways to minimize disappointment and avoid unnecessary hurt. Even with proper boundaries in place, chances are that sometime in life, most of us will experience disappointment. Should it happen to you, here are some steps to help you move forward:

Acknowledge where you are. While our feelings should not control us completely, they are real and should be acknowledged. One way to honor ourselves is to acknowledge unpleasant feelings like hurt fear, and disappointment if we want to heal & move forward.

.Once you’ve acknowledged your feelings, do the work of going a little deeper and discovering the why. Being aware of how you feel is good, and knowing why you feel the way you do is invaluable. Asking "why" is helpful when you want to get to the heart of a matter. Ask yourself why you feel the way you do, and answer honestly. BE willing to ask yourself and answer why as many times as it takes to uncover your true feelings, thoughts, and beliefs about yourself, others and your relationships.

Remember to keep things in perspective. Our feelings are:

Forgive all parties involved, including yourself. . Forgive means to release or set free, not to hold against. A key thing to know about Forgiveness is that it's not for the other person, it’s for you. Holding on to anger and living in a place of offense keeps from living and being our best. And guess what… Those feelings are toxic and they soil us within. It doesn’t matter how well put together we look on the outside, or how many nice things we acquire in life, if the heart and mind are tainted with unforgiveness. Taking care of what's outside of us while neglecting the inner man is like being sprayed by a skunk, and trying to cover it up with fine garments and perfumes without taking a bath first to wash off the stink. No matter what we use or how hard we try, the stink is there underneath it all and every now and then we all get a whiff of it. We simply cannot cover up offense, unforgiveness, and unresolved anger, we must deal with the stink head on, and resolve the matters at hand.

Thank you for listening to this episode of YourBL, please tune in next week, when we discuss what forgiveness is and what it is not. .

Releasing someone who has committed an offense or broken our trust is a choiand it has very little to do with our feelings. Your feelings toward Anger is a secondary emotion that is the reaction or result of an underlying emotion like fear, disrespect, or disappointment.