4 Keys to Getting What You Want in Life

1. Confidence - simply believing in yourself and your ability to get things done.  Confidence give us the courage to put  it all on the line and go after what we really want because it frees us from being overly concerned about what other people think.  Other people's opinions about you and what you do is not your responsibility, and therefore none of your business.  Confidence is simply the belief that you can.  Sadly, most of us in the world concern is  are convinced that we are not capable of achieving great things so we play it safe, and aim for the mediocre.  It's comfortable because it's a sure thing.  Settling for the mediocre may be fail-proof, but it's never a win.   

The truth is Setting "realistic" goals with average reward are uninspiring because when a goal's potential payoff is mediocre/average, so is our effort.  So  go after what excites and motivates you…chances are, it's not small or mediocre at all.  The challenge of large goals produces the adrenaline needed to carry you through the tough times.  You have everything you need to accomplish your heart's desires, so do the work of going after dreams that are worth dreaming and achieving.  In some ways, confidence is like gas to a car, because it's what fuels your activity,DO NOT underestimate yourself. You are better and stronger than you think, AND you are equipped to win.  

2.  Communication – If confidence is like a car's gasoline, then communication is the car's key as it is an absolute necessity to get things in motion. Communication is giving or exchanging information.  Day in and day out we engage in communication with ourselves and others.  Situations, life circumstances, and daily interactions with others constantly convey messages and provide us with information.  There are 2 types of Communication, so for now, let's focus on verbal. Words are instruments of creation.  We use words to build our world.  It is first built internally, in our way of thinking and belief systems, which ultimately is demonstrated by the tangible world we create for ourselves called life. Because words are such containers of power, each of us has a personal responsibility to ourselves and others regarding the messages we give and receive.  Are you aware of the messages you speak about yourself and others?  Are you giving and receiving the right messages on a consistent basis?  Although we are bombarded with information, only you determine what to accept as truth.  Tune in and listen carefully to what is being communicated by yourself and those around you.  Is what you say about yourself in agreement with who you want to become and where you wat to go in life?  If so, then you are well on your way to achieving your dreams.  If not, then take the time and make the effort to correct wrong messages with what it is you need to hear.  Can't control other people, so focus  and talk to ourselves on a daily basis. 

3.  Congruency - Things are  congruent when they are aligned or in harmony with another…. You are on the path to achieving your goals and dreams when your conversations and your actions are congruent with what you say you want. Congruency demonstrates that you are confident in your ability to attain your desires because when all that you say and do reinforces what's in your heart, you are an unstoppable force.   

The journey to your dreams consists of three steps:  decide what it is you want,  make a conscious commitment to doing the work required, and actually do the work..  These steps are pretty broad, so you will  need to break each one of them down into smaller more specific tasks. This will help you see your progress and keep you from getting overwhelmed by the magnitude of it all.  Even if you don't know everything there is to know about what it is you want, you DO know enough to get started, so start with what you know, and be teachable about what you don't know. The Chinese proverb says, "When the student is ready,  the teacher will appear. There are people and resources ready, willing, and able to help you, if you are willing to be taught.  Every day is an opportunity to go after what you want.  Taking  action opens the door for the next steps to occur.  Whether you are closing in on your dream or at the beginning stages, nothing will happen for you unless you get up, get out into the world, and go after it what you want.  

 4. The last key is Commitment - Commitment is a pledge, vow,  or obligation to do something in the future.  It is also known as  diligence, dedication, or consistency.   Commitment goes beyond doing things when you feel like it.  It is what keeps you doing what you said you would, even when the feeling of excitement is long gone.  Realizing a goal or a dream is a bit of a faith walk. I say this because we can plan every detail and follow the plan exactly, but that does not guarantee things will happen the way we think.  Some things may take longer than we think they could or should…will that discourage you or cause  you to give up? Unmet expectations cause disappointment which is unpleasant  and often times hurtful…Commitment is what compels us to get up, regroup, adjust, and try again. So, how badly do you want it?  The answer lies in your level of commitment. 

Confidence, Communication, Congruency, and Commitment. These 4 combined are a recipe for success and attracting to you all you need to attain the life you really want. As the end of the year approaches many of us will use this time to reflect upon where we are in life and try to devise a plan for better, more, something different. Here are 4 keys to getting what you really want. 

*Adaptation & extension of Material presented by Nick Unsworth and Tim Ferriss.  


Recovering from Disappointment

Disappointment is defined as the result of a failed hope or desire one has of something or someone.  Simply put, disappointment is the result of unmet expectations.

An expectation is a plan or requirement that one considers to be likely, certain, and reasonable. 

Expectations are plans established within one's mind for how things will go and how people will behave; but when things don't happen how we supposed they should or expected they would,  disappointment occurs, and it can be devastating.

I believe Matt 7:1 speaks on the proper to handle when things don't happen like we thought they would.  Matt 7:1 tells us not to judge.  Plain and simple, we are not to criticize someone's decisions, failures and faults - not unless we want to be treated  in this way.  Being critical  is like throwing a dart which bypasses the intended target, and boomerangs back around to strike the one who threw it.   Using our voices to criticize makes others more aware and less forgiving of our mistakes.  We ALL have shortcomings, so it's best to extend to others the grace we need to receive from time to time.

Because no one is perfect, disappointment will occur from  time to time .  Even so, there are some things we can do to minimize unnecessary hurt in our relationships.

  1. Be self-aware (Know what you expectations of the other person . How can someone meet your expectation(s) if YOU don’t even know what they are?

  2. Clearly communicate your expectations to others.   After discovering /realizing what it is you need,  make others aware. How can you hold someone responsible for expectations that have not been communicated?  No one is a mind reader. Honest conversations prevent hurtful situations.

  3. Make sure the expectations have been agreed upon.  Has the other person agreed to be responsible and held accountable? Be sure to ask them, and get a definite answer.  All relationships are a deal, or a transaction of some sort.  Many of us are comfortable handling business and marketplace relationships like this;  yet, we are reluctant to speak up when it comes to  interpersonal  matters .  It may be a slightly uncomfortable at first, but taking these steps will go a long way to preventing misunderstandings and disappointments which may leave you feeling like you got "a raw deal", or the short end of the stick". 

  4. Place relationships & expectations in proper perspective. At the end of the day, even if we do all of this, the truth is, relationships are made up of less-than-perfect people, so disappointment still may occur.  Should it happen, the important thing is to deal with it and not get stuck there.